I found that every thought, emotion or action I made while expressing
in the physical body had an effect on the Whole.
~Anita Moorjani
I was in the middle of a conversation the other day and something happened. In the blink of an eye, I had – unconsciously – gone from living from a full sense of self to a weak, shrunken version of myself. I went from responding to reacting. My senses felt numbed and it was difficult to fully understand the words being exchanged. Through all of this, there was no apparent change that could be seen on the physical.
It would be easier, actually, if there were a physical manifestation of an old insecurity being triggered. If, suddenly, I were to find myself in my five year old body, wearing my favorite Humpty Dumpty t-shirt. If that were true, at least my hesitant speech and blind stare would make sense. But, for better or worse, our physical state only very subtly reflects the belief system we’re running on.
Our childhood experiences create sets of beliefs about ourselves and the world. Our survival depends on making sense of things around us so that we learn how to respond. Negative experiences have especially powerful impact. I recently heard that negative memories take up more room in our brains; they carry more weight. So along the way, we develop a whole set of beliefs about who we are and don’t really realize that we’re seeing the world through the belief system that we’ve created. Negative experiences seem to have lasting impact, setting in place the “I’ll never. . .” or “I’ll always. . . “ beliefs. I’ll never be enough, be loved, be happy. I’ll always be alone, be broke, be in pain. . . .
So maybe it’s time for an update. Time to scan for any mental ‘viruses’ that are affecting our ability to function in our highest capacity. It would be nice if we could simply hit a re-set button. I haven’t found one. Instead, we can scan our experiences, especially the ones that included strong emotions, and notice if any themes are present. Our experiences reflect our inner state. If we bring compassion and curiosity to our inquiry, we allow healing. Our wholeness can never be lost; it can just seem so when we impose who we think we are over our true wholeness.